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We all love Britain. So here are my top ten (10) things I love about it (Britain):
Starting at number ten (10):

10) (British) Water:
We used to have a well in our garden, that is until my wife fell in it (which did her ankle - not to mention her dignity - no good). Since then we've had water taps installed. I must say, nothing quite beats a glass of (British) water. It's so refreshing, although some might say, too refreshing.

9) The (British) People

Of all the (British) people I've ever met (over 11,000), most have been pretty pleasant. I particularly like the following; Tony Sutton, Lady Pelving, Gary Mahaarton, and the Baker twins, but then again - who wouldn't?!

8) Table Tennis (British*)

It's a British game is it not?* Well, assuming that it is, I do enjoy it. I find it such a terrific pastime particularly when I use my 'Parmaynu Ping Pong Bat'. I once beat my wife three games to two, although the match was later officially declared void. No reason was given. It's still a mystery to me. Can you help?

7) (British) Toffees

I just LOVE them.

6) (The British) Dr Hiliard Canfrey

Dr Canfrey has been helping my wife with her ankle problems on and off for the past decade. If you met him I'm sure you would like him, even though his face resembles a horse's skull.

5) The (British) word 'Hello'.
'Hello' is such a clever word isn't it? It has so many uses. Sometimes I use it to mean 'please' or 'thank you'. I once used it as a short way of saying, "The staining caused by tertiary damp has totally ruined my new sofa", but the man from the furniture company just smiled back as if it had NOTHING to do with him. Typical.

4) My (British) Postman

Every day (except on Sundays and Bank Holidays, or if he's ill or on holiday), my postman brings letters forth to my abode. I thank him for that. Thank you Postman and may the Lord have mercy 'pon thy sweet soul.

3) Ballooning (in and over Britain)

I've done it once and I will NEVER do it again.

2) Hambles (Mark II)
Hambles (Mark II) replaces Hambles, our much cherished hamster, who sadly perished recently. British born Hambles (Mark II) has to be the finest (British) companion there is. I am currently training him to cough in time with a metronome.

1) (Britain) itself
What can I say that hasn't? Population - millions. Surface area - millions (sq. miles?). Weight - millions (kg's?). Britain is where I and you (unless you are a reader from abroad), physically live. Should our paths ever cross, I shall endeavour to doff my cap. "Good day Sir" (or) "Good day Madam" is what the gesture will imply (unless it is night time).